#diary April

Last week I travelled not far from here to the Lake District. Surprisingly although it is near to my former home Leeds and less than an hour away from Blackpool this was my first escapade to Cumbria – I was not disappointed. It was such a heart felt journey. It has been too long since I felt the freedom of nature. The sense of elation at seeing a rustic stone wall dividing fields with cattle roaming freely. The smell of rapeseed amidst the flora and fauna.

I took the little boy with me from next door. His name is Kian and I am close to him and his sister Kelsie. They became my friends during a feeling of despair last summer. Their mum helps here too.

There is always worry. I worry about how I am perceived online as running a business with help from the internet is a tough one for me as I want to stay true to my core values whilst still trying to generate a steady flow of business to keep things fluid here. I am always learning.

There is a thin line between work and family. But to me all of it can come together. It would be impossible to keep my personal life and work separate, running a small bed and breakfast – as I welcome my friends and family here. I would say most of my guests are not actively online on a consistent basis. Probably because many who enjoy to travel prefer this over sitting at their keyboards. We can live our dreams or we can portray our dreams. Life is short. To make the time to step out of our comfort zones. To keep a love and clarity in our hearts.

Last night was like cats chorus outside of here, the ferals are singing their witch like octaves and it always makes me aware of the moon cycle. Kittens being born to freedom just as the birds are nesting ready for new seasons of change. The balance of freedom and work make us rich in terms of soul juice. To feel worthwhile to the importance of our purpose. Primarily to be kind – to listen and to learn. I believe we are here to learn – to teach where we can. To try our best. We all make mistakes – but without ego we can grow as individuals.

I had planned on actually finishing the book I started during 2018 but I am a way off this yet. I suppose it will happen when the time is right. I do want to delete chapters and change the entire ethos as I have changed so much this last year. I see those who meant me harm as people who need sympathy rather than to make my life a misery. We have to send love to everything. My life is busy enough without attracting the wrong kind of energies.

I have a new monster project ahead of me. Truly, heaven knows where I will find the strength to manifest the love for this. But for now I will do with admiring cups and saucers. To daydream about textiles and stone artefact. To stay in the zone of embracing the unknown, quietly. I have had a few lucrative offers but to me it is not about being known or out there. I think in the hotelier trade it is better to remain anonymous. To just watch things grow organically with passion and commitment. It is all about leaving something good behind for the children to benefit from as they grow up. To give them a legacy. I wish everyone well. I wish for love.

Tiff. X

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